You finally built up the courage to ask your favorite teacher or artist for a dance. But after exactly three songs, they politely thank you and walk away.

As a beginner, you face this situation over and over during the social, and suddenly you start to wonder: Am I just an obligation? Do they even enjoy dancing with me?

The truth is: it’s not really about you. There are deeper reasons why many advanced dancers and teachers avoid spending too much time with beginners or even teaching them. Some of them might hurt to hear, but understanding them can help you grow and enjoy your journey more.

💥 6 harsh truths why advanced dancers don’t dance or teach beginners

1. They literally can’t remember being “bad.”

If someone has danced since childhood, their body doesn’t remember what it feels like to struggle with rhythm or coordination. For them, a basic step is as natural as breathing. Asking them to explain why you can’t just “catch the beat” feels impossible. It’s like asking a native speaker to explain every grammar rule in their language.

2. Repeating basics feels like professional regression.

Imagine a Michelin-star chef forced to cook scrambled eggs every single day. That’s what it can feel like for professional dancers who crave artistic expression, yet spend hours repeating “which foot goes first.” It doesn’t mean basics aren’t important; it means their artistic hunger isn’t satisfied by constant repetition.

3. All that hard work doesn’t translate in a beginner dance.

Advanced dancers train for years, spending hours on drills, conditioning, and body awareness to execute movements that feel powerful, expressive, and emotional. But when dancing with beginners, that work often “doesn’t land.” The connection isn’t there yet, the body doesn’t respond the same way, and the dancer may even hear endless apologies for mistakes. Instead of magic, the experience becomes frustrating for both sides.

4. Progress is painfully slow.

Advanced dancers dream of flow, connection, and musicality. They want to see their vision alive in a dance. But beginners move slowly. When teaching, sometimes it takes weeks just to adjust the posture or timing of your students. That gap between vision and reality can be frustrating, and many teachers prefer to avoid it altogether.

5. The emotions can feel overwhelming.

As a beginner, it’s normal to feel insecure or frustrated. But advanced dancers or teachers aren’t trained therapists. One small correction can feel like criticism. Missing the combo might make you want to quit mid-dance. And when you apologize every five seconds, it can feel heavy on the other side. Most advanced dancers just don’t know how to hold that emotional load; they only know how to dance.

6. Being a great dancer ≠ being a great teacher.

Dancing beautifully and teaching beautifully are two very different skills. Teaching requires patience, empathy, and the ability to break down complex movement into simple steps. Many professional dancers never develop those skills, because their path was performance, not teaching.

💡 So, what does this mean for you as a beginner?

Don’t take it personally. If a teacher doesn’t dance with you more than three songs, it’s not a rejection of who you are. It’s them protecting their energy and artistic needs.

Choose your teachers wisely. Don’t just go for the “best dancer in the room.” Find the one who celebrates your small wins, who remembers what it felt like to be new, who makes learning safe and joyful.

Take responsibility for your growth. Watch, practice, train, and keep showing up. Don’t expect teachers or advanced dancers to carry your progress; you own your journey.

🌱 And if you’re advanced…

Remember what it felt like to be new. To feel invisible, lost, or like everyone else “just got it.” You don’t owe every beginner your time or your energy, but a smile, a kind word, or one supportive dance can change someone’s day.

🎤 Let’s talk about it.

Have you ever felt like “just an obligation” as a beginner? Or do you feel the weight of expectation as a teacher?

Share your experience. I’d love to hear both sides of the story.